“It’s like being dumped. I’m tired. I’ve cried a couple of times. I’m emotionally drained. I have nothing to do. My routine is broken. I have time on my hands and no desire to do any of the things that need doing. Dazed. A friend said I was making no sense in the pub last night and I hadn’t even started my pint.”

Does it all sound a bit Dusty?:

I remember walking back home at about nine in the morning on May 7 after a glass of wine or two at a fellow activist’s house close to the count at the Brighton Centre. I remember being jeered (yes, we were) by victorious Green supporters awaiting their conquering heroine. But not much else is vivid about the weekend after the General Election.

I wasn’t angry though. And I’m not bitter. Over the course of polling day, I confessed to several friends that I though the Greens would win Brighton Pavilion and I can appreciate the historic significance of Britain’s first Green MP (although I thought the way Caroline Lucas MP compared herself to Keir Hardie in her maiden speech displayed breathtaking audacity).

I also take some heart from the results. What did the Conservatives want from Labour to win an outright national majority? They had Iraq, recession, Gordon Brown and a lack-lustre national campaign from Labour. And yet they still couldn’t win! Cameron couldn’t even match John Major’s 1992 result.

Also, the Greens and the Tories argued that Labour would come third in Brighton Pavilion and we came a very creditable and quite close second. The Green majority of 1200 or so isn’t gargantuan. We were not “rinsed”, as one Green Councillor crowed on Twitter.

The Green victory was well won. They spent a great deal of energy and money on getting this seat. The results across the three Brighton and Hove parliamentary constituencies were good for Labour. Of course, we didn’t win a seat but we did come second to the Tories, with a narrow 500 votes between us, and the Greens overall were fourth after the Liberals. That augurs well for the City Council Elections and also shows we aren’t a spent force.

But what has cheered me most of all has been the determination and energy of activists and party folk. Labour in Brighton has lots to do. And there’s much discussion to be had. And we’re doing it. May 6th changed everything and we’re already responding with ideas and actions. We need radical ideas and action and it was good to get out and about in Portslade yesterday to try some of our new ideas out. Tom French is doing well in the council by-election in St Peter’s and North Laine.

For me, I think one of the most important things that we need to get better at is working with the Green Party. We share many common values and we have common enemies to oppose. Brighton and Hove City Council is a bad council and the small ‘c’ conservative government is starting to show its real colours. In this brave new world of coalitions, I think there is a thirst from voters to see more cooperation and less conflict. I also don’t think the “you had 13 years to sort it out” attack line cuts much mustard when your kids’ school is having its funding slashed.

Everything changed on May 6th. That’s the thing about defeat, I think. You are forced to learn from it. Victory is affirming.

It’s great that my next MP will be a woman. And yet I look around and see male candidates in other seats who are frankly not up to scratch.

Take my Tory, Charlotte Vere. I disagree with her on so much and am put off by her often negative approach. But I rather like her energy and normality. She’s funny. She’s clever. She has great experience in business and as a mum. We need more women like her in parliament. There are too many Conservative stuffed shirts who will get elected this time (probably including Hove and Kemptown) and if you’ve got to have a Conservative, I’ll have Charlotte thanks. I think it’s a shame that she is unlikely to be in the Commons this time around.

Caroline Lucas is professional and experienced. She has championed her causes in Brussels well. She is the acceptable face of a Green party with bonkers views on the economy and science. Even if I don’t like her all that much (to me she seems sanctimonious and a little haughty), she works hard, does her thing and wants to be an MP badly. It is perhaps ironic that her replacement MEP, if she wins, will likely be a chap.

Knowing Nancy Platts well, I just know she’ll be a great MP. I value her local touch. She gets Brighton and loves it here too. She’s a good campaigner who isn’t afraid to get her hands dirty. It was easy to be jaded about being a Labour man before Nancy. Now I’m proud to be Labour again. She’s inspiring.

And yet I know plenty of folk find Caroline and Charlotte inspiring too. That’s the tragedy of Brighton Pavilion. We can only have one of them. They’d all be good MPs. Heck. They could all become great MPs. It’s such a shame that they aren’t all standing against some really mediocre men. Having all three of them in parliament come May 7th would be a triumph. But we're stuck with tragedy. Horrid. Horrid.

To quote a Green Party leaflet I received this week:“We offer a positive alternative for everyone who is angry about the expenses scandals in Westminster and Brussels.”

Caroline Lucas MEP’s Salary and Expenses for 2008*

All figures from Caroline Lucas’s website. Currency conversion xe.com.

Hurrah for transparency! Good old Greens. No more fat cats! Caroline Lucas MEP only cost us £300k in 2008! And she’s been our MEP for 10 years... you do the maths.

Let’s look a little harder. The Daily Allowance covers, according to Dr Lucas’s website “away from home expenses such as hotel rooms and/or flat rental, meals etc. No receipts are required as this is a lump-sum payment, made if they sign the official register or the attendance list at the official meeting.” All the emphases are hers. That’s right, no receipts are required. In March 2009, the Observer published a picture of her pretty smart looking three-storey family home in Brussels if you’re interested.

Regarding the Secretarial Allowance, Dr Lucas’s website is also keen to point out: There is no requirement to present full accounts. (Again, the emboldening of the text is her emphasis from her website.)

I first saw these costs today (29/05/09). They weren’t there when I looked at the page earlier in the week. Check out the cached page from May 25th here. Spot the differences? Yes, the difference is Caroline Lucas has only started disclosing her full expenses in the past few days. She didn’t start publishing them until people started asking!

Eddie Mair, as he introduced Lucas on Radio 4’s Any Questions 22/05/09 said: "there's a breakdown of all her spending on her website and an explanation of those MEP allowances that used to so annoy voters before they heard what MPs at Westminster were up to." (And Lucas didn’t object.) But last Friday, most of the costs I've quoted weren't there. The page in question is a discreet backwater of her website. Is she hoping noone will notice?

Caroline Lucas MEP: “I have long called for the introduction of an efficient, fair and transparent system for reimbursing members’ expenses.” I look forward to receipts and full accounts.

The Green Party propaganda is clear: the Greens are squeaky clean, glassy transparent and not on the Bisto Express. But doesn’t the new politics the Green Party offer us look rather like the old politics we all want to see the back of?

N.B. I’m no Lois Lane. I’m not even a journalist. If I’ve got my facts wrong, set me straight.

*I think this info is presented more transparently than on the website. Nice table, no?
**The website is unclear whether this fee was claimed in 2008. However, previously it has been used to fly (yes, on a plane) to Gaza. Yes, on one of those planes the Greens tell us we shouldn't fly on.

Disclosure: I’m a pretty pissed off rank and file member of the Labour Party. I hold no position or post in the party. And, frankly, I’d slap Hazel Blears if I met her in the street. I would.